Things I Wonder, Things I Know: Early Spring, 2015

Leapfrog uses the exact same singing and talking voice for every single one of its’ toys.  It is a woman’s voice.  SmallOne loves it.  The ‘Alphabet Pal’ toy sang the alphabet song and ze said, ‘That’s a good song!’.  Is it a computer voice or an actual person?  If it is an actual person, does she (because it is a female voice) does she get mobbed in public by toddlers every time she opens her mouth?

It is so cold this winter that our underground wi-fi cable froze.  They had to come out and string a new one above ground, and will come back when the ground is thawed to replace the old one.  Given the rate that the snow is currently melting, that will be sometime in June.

When I was quite young, maybe five or six, I saw the movie Harvey, which featured a 6 foot tall rabbit.  It scared the crap out of me so much that my parents had to tell me that the Easter bunny didn’t exist.  The Easter bunny still kinda scraes the crap out of me.  It is a rabid, hulking monster with red eyes who is sneaking around your house while you are asleep!  What is not uber uber uber creepy about that?

Why was it that long after I knew the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy were pretend, I still believed in Santa?

When we started talking about holding the Easter Egg Hunt indoors a month or two ago, I agreed but secretly thought: no way in heck will that happen, it will be spring by then.  Well, guess what?  It’s not!  I honestly don’t think we’ve ever had an indoor egg hunt.  I suspect it will not be too terribly difficult.

Where the heck did SmallOne learn the I Love You song from Barney?  Ze doesn’t watch television.  But I heard zir singing it!

SmallOne is at the age where if ze asks why, you can say, Because, and ze accepts it.  It is kind of awesome.

There is no evidence to the contrary that Hermione Granger is not a person of color.

Easter is a really, really weird holiday.  I think I was in my twenties before I figured out that it was supposed to be the easter bunny who laid the eggs, not just brought them.  What the heck kind of mutant bunny lays eggs?  Especially colored ones?  Especially plastic colored ones filled with chocolate?

Cadbury min eggs are the Food of the Gods.  They are truly the best chocolate on the planet, and I don’t even like milk chocolate.

I am so glad that nobody I know plays tricks on me, because it is a horrible thing to do.

My version of the Easter story, which I figured out when I was seven or eight and which my grandmother didn’t like at all: Jesus passed out on the cross from the blood loss.  they didn’t know any medical stuff in those days so they thought he was dead.  he was in a coma, and when he woke up, he used super human strength like mothers get to push cars off their babies, the kind caused by adrenaline, to move aside the rock.  then he came out and told everyone of his vivid dreams and hallucinations while he was in a coma.

I still think that the story above makes a heck of a lot more sense than anything else I’ve read about it.

Happy Axial Tilt To Give Us Warmer Weather and More Sun!

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